In this episode of The Self Careapist Therapist Podcast, I (Lorain Moorehead, LCSW) speak with trauma specialist Melissa Lapides, LMFT about complex trauma healing through mind-body approaches, exploring how early attachment wounds shape our relationships and the path to recovery.

What Is Trauma Therapy? Understanding Complex Trauma

Complex trauma healing through mind-body approaches is increasingly recognized as effective for addressing complex trauma. Unlike single-incident trauma, complex trauma develops when our system perceives a threat to survival over an extended period.

“So many people are walking around with complex trauma that don’t even know what it is,” explains Melissa. “When we talk about complex trauma, especially in relation to our early childhood experiences, it can often look like a parent that wasn’t emotionally available or a parent that was emotionally dysregulated.”

“You make such a great point that our bodies are really adaptive,” I shared during our conversation. “In the long term, that can take some real impacts on our health and well-being. And in the short term, it’s really amazing how our bodies can adapt even to a negative situation, even with a strategy that we wouldn’t consider helpful or effective over time.”

Types of Trauma Therapy Treatments

While trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is widely recognized, Melissa emphasizes the importance of bottom-up processing in trauma recovery. Traditional therapy often focuses on cognitive understanding, but complex trauma healing through mind-body approaches requires techniques that start with the body.

“I like to give people a new felt experience because oftentimes when you grow up in chaos, you don’t even know what you’re going for. You don’t even know what peace feels like,” Melissa explains.

In my practice, I’ve observed how effective bottom-up approaches can be. “There’s really what we call a bottom-up processing approach that allows someone’s body to make that change and allows their nervous system to start to make that shift that allows them then to show up differently in future situations.”

Attachment Wounds and Complex Trauma

Our earliest relationships with caregivers form the foundation of our attachment style. When parents consistently respond to our emotional needs with attunement, we develop secure attachment. However, when our emotional experiences aren’t validated, we develop insecure attachment patterns.

Melissa gives a powerful example: “A kid falls off a bike and gets hurt. One mom might say, ‘Get up, keep going, you’re okay.’ Another mom will say, ‘Oh my gosh, that must have really hurt. Let me help you get up and get back on the bike.'”

I see this play out regularly in my practice. “I think a common misconception is that people realize ‘I felt this certain way in my attachments as a child, and now I don’t want those. I want secure attachments.’ And then they’re surprised when they end up in partnerships and relationships that aren’t those secure attachments they crave. It’s so interesting how our bodies find comfort in duplicating those same scenarios.”

Benefits of Trauma Therapy

One of the primary benefits of complex trauma healing through mind-body approaches is breaking cycles of dysfunction. Our bodies equate familiarity with safety—even when that familiarity is harmful.

“We seek things that are familiar, but I always tell my clients familiarity isn’t always healthy,” Melissa notes. This explains why people recreate dysfunctional relationship patterns despite consciously wanting something different.

Therapy for Anxiety and Trauma

Many clients initially seek therapy for anxiety without realizing their symptoms stem from unresolved trauma. “A lot of times these things that we think are mental health issues like anxiety or depression actually come from complex trauma,” Melissa explains.

In my clinical experience, I’ve found many clients don’t initially connect their symptoms to trauma. “When I’m meeting with a new client and I ask them, have you experienced any trauma? Their response is no. They’re not searching out a trauma therapist. They maybe have gone to the doctor and realized they have high blood pressure or autoimmune symptoms. Even when presented with the option, they’re not realizing that what they experienced daily throughout childhood could be trauma.”

What to Expect in Trauma-Focused Treatment

When seeking therapy for anxiety or trauma recovery in Scottsdale, clients should understand that healing takes time. A trauma-informed therapist creates safety and predictability—elements that were often missing in childhood.

In my practice, I find that clients often want to know exactly how long their healing journey will take. “Clients do often come in and say, ‘How long, how many sessions should this take?’ And certainly we can give an idea of what to expect, but we can’t promise speed necessarily because we really want to build that trust and safety and provide only what the client is able to endure.”

Finding Trauma Treatment

When seeking trauma recovery, Melissa recommends finding a therapist who:

• Has done their own healing work
• Can regulate their own nervous system
• Creates a relationship where you feel comfortable
• Specializes in complex trauma healing through mind-body approaches

The Journey of Trauma Recovery

Healing from complex trauma is possible at any age. During our conversation, I shared a Thomas Zimmerman metaphor about trauma healing: “Our protective factors are the boat and our resilience and all of the things that allow us to do the work. And the fish is the size of the trigger or the trauma that we’re working through. Some people have tolerance the size of a yacht. Their boat is just massive. But we’re not always there. Sometimes it might just be reinforcing that boat before we ever take it out to fish.”

Melissa adds: “It is never too late to start feeling peace inside. Never. And I think it’s the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves.”

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Connect with Melissa Lapides on Instagram @GetSecurelyAttached or find her on Psychology Today. For trauma therapy in Scottsdale, reach out to learn more about trauma-focused treatment options and how we can support your healing journey.

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About the Host: Lorain Moorehead specializes in therapy for professionals and entrepreneurs in Scottsdale, helping clients heal through complex trauma healing through mind-body approaches. She offers free consultations for potential clients and believes in creating a secure therapeutic environment where clients can safely explore and heal from past traumas.

Check out the full episode here or wherever you get your podcasts!